You Always Hurt The One You Love
take 4
He wasn't about to get shot now, it would ruin his reputation.  With  gritted teeth Remy flung 3 charged cards at the remaining two,  sending one to the ground grasping his throat and bleeding from the  mouth.  The other Remy leapt at, knocking his gun away and snatching  his jacket front.

Looking over his shoulder at Alex: "Want de honors?"

Assassin's training took over.  It didn't matter that he was buck naked in his lover's bedroom or not wearing his artificial arm. Nor was he going to worry at this moment what Remy would think of his actions.  Retrieving the fallen gun, Alex walked up to his would be killer, calmly put the barrel to his temple, and fired. 

Though by other means, there was a time in his life Remy would have  done the same thing.  He felt that time close to memory now and it  didn't bother him... there was no need to justify this, was there?   He pushed the thought aside, assuring himself his old self would not  return. 

And if it did?

"Best dress, Alex, calvary on it's way."  He stared down at the man  for a moment then quickly slipped into an old pair of jeans.  Jean,  Logan, and Hank were at the door, looking for answers and wondering  who the stranger was.

"We been through this, Cajun.  You and your secrets... any o' the  kids see this?"  Logan sneered as he began aiding Hank, checking for  pulses.

"One o' y'r *kids* let 'em in!"  Remy bristled.  "Dey try shootin' us  up, didn' know what dey got into 's all."

By this time Krycek had dressed and pulled on his prosthetic arm.  "There's probably one or two more waiting outside the gates."  There were usually one or two MIBs who hung back to observe.  They would be informing the Consortium of the assassin's failure.

Which meant that more assassins would be sent after him.  Again and again.  Which would put his lover in danger.  And it would only be a matter of time before they either completed their mission, no matter who they had to hurt to finish it.

"Professor's taking care of them," Jean looked to Krycek after a  brief touch of her fingers to her temple.  "He's clearing their  memory of this."  Though she suspected there were more she didn't  ask, focusing on wrapping the bodies and cleaning the floor.

Scowling at the wall Remy sighed.  Though Logan could overhear  anything he hoped the others would not as he spoke low to  Krycek.  "We stay too long den," he studied his lover's face.  They  could bolt now and get on the move as they had planned to... though  he had hoped this place would offer a little more time than merely a  day.

Alex nodded.  "The sooner the better," he said in a quiet undertone.  He didn't like the sound of this "Professor" performing some sort of brainwashing, although it was poetic justice in a way.  They had done it often enough to innocent victims of their experiments that it was time they had a taste of their own medicine.

 The problem was that leaving wouldn't put him or Remy out of danger.  It would only be a matter of time before he was tracked down again.  And the next time, things might not turn out so well.  Alex didn't doubt Remy's ability to defend himself, but he wasn't willing to take any chances.  So there was only one option left open to him.

Grabbing his trench coat and slipping into a shirt Remy nodded at  Alex and headed for the door.  He was haulted by Logan: "Doncha think  the prof will want an explanation?"  A growl and narrowing of the  Canadian's eyes. 

"YOU tell him, mon ami."  Remy shoved past him.  "I'm sure Jean  already relay de message, oui?"

In the hall Remy lowered his voice, concerned for Alex: "Dey plant a  bug on, in... around y' some where?  Hank here will take care o'  it 'fore we leave if y' 'spect somet'ing..."

"They wouldn't have had time to bug us.  But have the grounds swept with a fine tooth comb at least three times.  It's best we get out of here as fast as we can."  He didn't mention that he had his body scanned several times, and that he hadn't turned up an implant yet.  But they didn't have the time for another thorough search.

Having come to his decision, Alex now had to find the right opportunity to follow through on it.  Even though it would break the heart many claimed he didn't have.

Remy nodded, lips tight as he led the way to the back exit and then  around to an outter wall.  "Step up," she knelt and cupped his hands  for Alex to step into and boost over the wall.

At one time, he would have scrambled over the wall without aid.  But with only one arm, that would be impossible.  So Alex accepted his lover's help up, straddled the top a moment before twisting both legs to dangle over the far side.  He balanced there a moment before he gave a little push and dropped to the ground below.

Watching until his lover landed on the other side of the thick,  opaque wall Remy turned to look at the mansion a last moment.  Then,  using his bo staff, launched himself over the wall after a brief  sprint along it...

Alex's head tracked the graceful arc that Remy made as he touched down.  "Showoff," he murmured as he walked over to join his lover.  Alex took a deep breath.  What he had to do was becoming harder to psyche himself up for with each moment.  But now that they were alone and outside of the school's compound, it was now or never.  "Remy, you know that I love you?"

"Then please try to understand why I'm doing this."  Without warning, Alex's fist shot out in an uppercut, impacting with the underside of Remy's jaw.  "Forgive me," he whispered as he watched Remy fall, unconscious.  Forcing himself not to look back, Alex turned and disappeared into the forrest.

-   -   -

Remy groaned, hand coming up to feel his throbbing jaw.  It was  getting dark outdoors... he remembered Alex Krycek's last words, the  pain and then blackness... the punch had actually caught him off  gaurd: he didn't remember a fist. 

Gathering his feet beneath him Remy looked to the ground for  footprints, they lead into the forest.  With a sigh he stood, bo  staff in hand staring at the trees and shadows. 

Alex Krycek was long gone.

A soft stirring behind him.  Narrowing his brows Remy pivoted and  landed his knee in Logan's gut.  "NON!"  He yelled, planting his fist  in the other's face then turned and ran.  He did not want to hear the  hateful and hurtful words, the scolding and lists of chores as if he  was a student half his age.

He ran to the Fight Club warehouse.  It was not his nature until  being recruited to take his emotions out.  He bottled.  And bottled  and bottled and bottled.  Now a days was different.  He fought.

He fought until they lay him bruised, battered, cut, bleeding,  shaking and weak next to the others he had briefly done in for the  night.

- - - - -

Alex stayed low for three months, letting his trail grow cold.  But that didn't mean that he hadn't kept tabs on things. 

He told himself it would have been wisest to cut all ties to his recent past, for Remy's sake.  The Consortium would be keeping their eyes on him, waiting for Alex to make contact again.  He doubted that they'd do something as blatant as make a grab for him to lure Krycek back out into the open.  But still, even though he knew that Remy could defend himself, he didn't want to see his lover caught in the crossfire.

Instead, he watched from the distance, through the Fight Club.  He watched his lover fight out his rage and his pain.  He watched with an ache in his heart, wanting so badly to go back to him and beg for forgiveness.  And he started to have the sneaking suspicion that Remy had thrown their battle, had allowed him to win. 

That, and the desire to see Remy again for one last time, led him to send an anonymous challenge.  The meeting place was the base of the Seattle Space Needle, a public enough place to meet up, but near enough the docks to find a private place to fight.  Standing near the entranceway, he didn't let the turmoil and anticipation show on his face.

Remy didn't make the trip to a new fight with any hurry.  He casually  strolled his way round the corner, curious but nontheless bored.  A  cut still slashed it's way from forehead through his left brow,  leaving a bright red wound to shine in the sunlight. 

He fought hard and nasty now a days.  Left his victims with nothing  but wounded pride and a missing wallet, anything more and he feared  he'd start caring about some one again.

Lost in this line of thought he didn't immediately look up as he  rounded a corner to the entranceway of the Needle.  Closing in on the  meet point he finally glanced up to look around for a tattoo... and  caught short.  20 feet in front of him, the reason for his pain and  empty heart. 

Stopping where he stood Remy balled his fists and narrowed his eyes,  lips drawing into a tight line.  He wanted to turn, walk away, bury  his fists in another's face, forget what he saw.  But couldn't.

Alex's breath caught in his throat.  His lover looked wounded in both mind and body and soul.  And two of those three wounds he had inflicted.  It looked like Remy was ready to pummel him within an inch of his life.  And Krycek didn't doubt for a moment that he deserved it.

Hell, if he were Remy, he'd be beating the crap out of himself right at this moment.

Not saying a word, though he wanted to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness, Alex nodded with his head away from the crowds of tourists.  There were docks nearby that weren't for tourists, but for actual shipping.  There would be an empty warehouse there that they could fight in without attracting attention.

Pivoting Remy stalked in the direction Alex had nodded at. He hurried  his pace without running, long legs carrying him far with each step  as his trench coat flared out behind him. 

Wandering the maze of large crates Remy found himself blocked,  walking alongside the warehouse but on the other side of a long line  of crates.  Growling low he turned and once more offered his hands to  boost Alex over, then swung his own mass over the crate.

His anger had been building during the walk here.  Touching Krycek's  shoes as he had before sent him shaking with bottled anger about to  explode.  Still, keeping his glowing eyes averted he blew the lock  off the warehouse and entered into the shadowy world.

Now he released it, placing his whole body into the punch aimed at  Alex' face as he whirled onto the rat.

Alex had expected Remy to be angry with him.  Hell, he was angry with himself for leaving his lover the way he did, no matter how much he tried to convince himself that it was the right thing to do.  But he hadn't expected the barely suppressed hostility and rage to be such a turn on.  Although he wasn't certain about if it was to Remy.  He saw the expression of anger in Remy's eyes as he helped him over the crates, and he knew he was in for a beating.

And he found himself holding still for it.  He wanted Remy to beat the crap out of him.  He wanted atonement and absolution - and if he could find it at the receiving end of his lover's fists, so be it.

Remy had often wondered at Logan when the Canadian lost control,  entered his berserker rages, what that would feel like.  To not know  what you were doing or why, just feeling the rage, seeing the object,  and acting it out without much brains in the actions.

Though not even close to a berserker rage it still took Remy a few  minutes of punching and kicking before he realized his opponent was  not fighting back.  Breathing harshly through clenched teeth he  glared at Alex as he shed his trench coat and lay it in a pile a few  feet off.

Taking several deep breaths before speaking his accent was heavily  slurred as he fought for control of his voice.  "Why y' not fightin',  Krycek?  Y' did call dis in, non?"

From the ache, Alex guessed that Remy had bruised, if not broken, a couple of ribs. That was in addition to the black eye, split lip, and blows to the torso he had absorbed.  Curled in an almost fetal position on the ground, hand pressed against his side, he took several shallow breaths, trying to regain his voice to answer his lover's, or should that be ex-lover's question.

"" he rasped out between breaths.  It was the only way he knew that he could make it up to Remy for coldcocking him and leaving him in the forrest.  Even if he had done it to save his life.  And blows were the only caresses he deserved from his lover. 

Remy's eyes widened as Krycek spoke, finally taking in exactly how  much damage he had managed to inflict on him.  Guilt rained down,  washing away his anger as he knelt next to his lover, his angel... he  chewed at his lower lip, seeing the black eye and split lip.

Hand shaking he reached and touched the side of Alex' face.  "I'm  sorry.  I didn' mean t'... y' don' deserve dis."  He cursed the  moment of weak anger that he had allowed himself to get lost in,  embrace and use when he knew Alex wasn't mutant, that there was no  way for him to keep up with the blows. 

"Yes, I do."  Despite himself, he slumped against Remy.  The beating was nothing he hadn't experienced before, and worse at other people's hands.  And during the time they were separated, he had replayed every conversation.  Every touch.  Every kiss.  Every caress.  How he had promised that they would always be together.

And at the first sign of trouble, he had bolted.  Alex had told himself it was to protect Remy, but he didn't believe that.  Remy would have been more than capable of protecting himself.  When it came deep down to it, Alex felt from all the things he had done, despite the rhetoric about it being in mankind's best interest, and it made him a secret hero, he didn't deserve to be loved.

Remy sighed, he wasn't about to argue at a time like this.  His lover  hadn't needed a beating, he had been beating himself up enough  without Remy's physical help in it.  His arms embraced Alex, gently,  unsure of where he had hurt him worse. 

"Y' know I missed y'... so much."  His voice barely above a whisper  as he stroked Alex' nape.  "I'm glad y' came back... but... y'  stayin'?  Dat why y' come back?"  He couldn't handle another heart  ache like that, his voice pleaded for a yes. 

Alex leaned against Remy, the longing in his lover's voice echoing the longing in his own heart.  It was why he had sent the anonymous challenge - because he had to see his lover at least one more time.  Because he wanted to be back in his arms.  Because he was tired of constantly running and having to watch over his shoulder.

"Yes," he whispered.  But he still couldn't look at the mutant.  "It's not going to be easy.  Or safe.  They're still after me."  It would only be a matter of time before the Syndicate goons caught up with him again.  But this time, he told himself, he wasn't going to run.

"Nothin' been easy or safe fo me, Alex," Remy crooked a finger  beneath Alex' jaw, gently lifting his face to look at him.  "We fight  dem as a team, no more lonliness an no more pain.  No guilt."  Easier  said than done, but they could try to be happy for once in their  lives. 

Leaning in Remy kissed the corner of his mouth, tasted his blood, and  rested his temple against Alex' temple. 

Alex leaned against him, still breathing heavily.  He didn't quite believe that Remy was forgiving him this easily.  No one did this without some sort of agenda or demanding some sort of retribution.

But he could worry about that later.  He was back in his lover's arms, and that was what mattered for the moment.  "Let's get out of here," he said, hissing as he shifted.  "Got a hotel room about three blocks from here."

Tieing his jacket sleeves over one shoulder Remy gently hefted Alex'  arm over the other.  "Three blocks ain't nothin'," he tried to humor  the situation but it didn't come out very funny.  Tightening his lips  he slowly lead Krycek out onto the sidewalks. 

Krycek hissed with every inhalation and every step.  Hating to admit that he was weak, he leaned against his lover, letting Remy carry part of his weight.  It seemed to take hours to get to the hotel, although it was only a ten minute walk.  And another few hours for the three minute elevator ride to the fifth floor.  And then another hour for the minute that produced the key to open the door to his room.

With every pained sound Krycek made Remy felt more guilt and more  inhuman.  He'd never lost control.  Not like that.

Grabbing the key so Alex didn't need to support his own weight Remy  opened the door and helped him step inside.  "Sit down," it wasn't an  offer after he guided him to the bed.

Avoiding his lover's eyes he looked at the shirt, gripping a sleeve  in one hand.  His eyes sparked with the shirt as it began to sizzle  and glow.  He didn't want to peel it off his back, hear more of the  pain he had caused.

As the shirt disapated Remy eyed the black and blue, some green and  yellow, purple bumps along the stomach and ribs.  Pastel in tone,  barely showing but Remy knew they'd get worse in just a few hours,  perhaps a day and they'd be dark.

And who knows what else he had done.  Remy's jaw was tense, brows  furrowed with worry as he looked up. 

Alex hissed as he tried to take a deep breath.  "Don't worry," he said softly, reaching down to run his fingers through his lover's hair.  "This is nothing compared to what I felt when with this," he said, lifting his left shoulder.  "I'll be stiff for a few days, but I'll be fine."

"Besides," he said.  "It's an excuse for you to give me a body massage."  He saw that his joke fell flat.  "Just come up here and hold me," Alex said.  He didn't want to admit that he needed to be held and reassured that his lover was really here.

"Heat'll help de pain," Remy murmered.  Pulling away he felt stiff,  cold... he walked to the restroom.  Starting the hot water running he  pulled the plug closed.  He wanted to speak, say he'd give Krycek a  massage after the water had loosened him up and eased the pain of the  bruises.  But his mouth wouldn't move.  He stared at the water spout,  already feeling the room heating up from steam.

Alex watched Remy disappear into the bathroom and heard the sound of running water.  Letting out a slight hiss, he undid the straps holding the prosthetic arm in place and let it fall to the bed.  He toed off his shoes and then worked on getting his jeans off as well.  Once naked, he stood up and gingerly walked to the bathroom to rejoin his lover.  "Remy?" he called into the humid interior.

Glad for the steam not only to ease his lover's aches but to hide his  emotions in Remy cleared his voice before looking over at the hazy  figure.  "Dey say t' ice first, fo de swellin'... but we can do dat  later.  Dis'll help y'r pain, Alex."

Standing he approached Alex, laying a hand on his shoulder.  "Come  on, get in de tub."  His manner was stiff, as if dealing with a  stranger when inside he wanted to embrace this man.

Alex frowned at Remy's manner, but obeyed.  The hot water was warm and soothing, and he felt all too tense muscles relaxing.  The steam allowed him to breathe a little easier.  He let out a sigh of relief.

He opened his eyes then.  "Join me?" he said softy, scooting forward to make room for Remy.  Alex wished he could erase the awkward expression on his lover's face.  Reassure him that everything was all right between them as far as he was concerned.

Shedding his clothes Remy slipped in behind Alex, tensing as his  thighs rested alongside Alex' hips.  It would be too easy to forget  and do something he'd regret.  He wanted to get lost in that feeling  again, forget his current concerns and love care free again.

But as he began to massage Krycek's shoulders and neck, he did not  forget the trouble on his mind... though it was easy to act as if he  had, scooting closer to Alex.

Alex pushed back against Remy trying hard not to wince at the pain in his ribs.  The mutant could really put out a beating.  Although he had planned to let him win, Alex hadn't thought Remy could pack such a punch.  In fact, he didn't remember Remy being that strong of a fighter..

He twisted slightly to look at his lover.  "You threw our first fight."  It wasn't an accusation or a question.  Just a statement.

Remy avoided Krycek's gaze, staring at his own thumb as he pressed it  into the muscles along the neck and shoulder junction.  He didn't  answer for a moment, chewing at his inner lip.

"I wanted t' be wit' y'.  I t'ought y'... if I won, I'd be wit' y'  but it be forced."  Swallowing back the dryness in his mouth and  throat he hesitently looked up.

Alex looked at Remy, his expression neutral as his mind tumbled around the confession.  It was flattering and a bit frightening that Remy had that strong of a desire for him.

Hesitantly, he moved towards his lover.  Carefully, almost cautiously as if afraid Remy would bolt or pull away, Alex kissed him.

How Remy had missed this kiss.  Rearranging his legs so they could pull closer Remy's hand came up at the taste of blood.  Gently he pushed Alex away.  He could not do this again. 

"Y' need rest," he whispered, again looking away as he stood and stepped out of the tub.

Alex blinked, confused by Remy's actions.  He had expected the initial beating.  Hell, he felt that he had deserved it for how he had treated his lover.  But Alex hadn't expected this coolness, this distance, from him. 

Quietly he got out of the tub.  The heat and steam had helped ease the aches he was feeling.  But it did nothing to ease the ache in his heart.  He was just understanding  the depth of pain, not that he had experienced, but his lover had.  And he wasn't sure what could be done to put it right between them. 

Standing in a towel around his abdomen Remy plucked another and wrapped it around Alex' shoulders, briefly rubbing them before turning and walking to the bed.  Sitting near the nightstand he picked up the phone and dialed out. 

"Hank, I need a favor ... oui, ofcourse ... could y' loan one of Logan's vials? ... ya, not like he's short on it, merci."  He hung the phone up and approached Alex. 

"I need t' pick somet'ing up," he touched the side of Alex' face, hesitent like it might burn his hand.  "Get some rest."

Alex caught Remy's wrist in his hand, frowning.  "You're leaving?"  He wasn't going to demean himself by asking when he'd be back like some love sick schoolgirl, but his heart was sinking all the same.  Remy had said that he had forgiven Alex, but it was clear by his actions that he hadn't.

Remy stared at him for a few moments, seemingly frozen.  Then turned his wrist in Alex' hand to gently pry it free.  "I'll be back in a few hours," he turned and grabbed his clothes to dress in silence.

Snatching his trench coat he looked at Alex as he reached for the door knob, wondering if he'd be there when he returned.

* * *

Vial and syringe safely snuggled into an inner coat pocket, Remy hesitated outside the hotel door.  Expecting silence on the other end he knocked.

Alex jerked his head towards the sound.  While Remy was gone, he had rested some, and attempted to redress.  He stopped after zipping up his jeans, tired and sore.  He'd rest a few minutes, he told himself as he laid back and closed his eyes, and then get on his shirt.

He was asleep in ten seconds.

Now awake he rolled out of his bed.  Potential assassins didn't announce their presence by knocking, but  that didn't stop him from picking up his gun as he headed towards the door.  But seeing Remy through the peephole, he called out.  "Just a second."  Then it was back to the bed to put the gun down so he could use his hand to open the door for him.

"I didn't think y'd still be here," Remy said, closing the door.  Reaching into his jacket he showed Alex the vial of blood and syringe.  "Gift from Logan.  Wit' dis y'r bruising and cuts should heal within the hour.  's slower dan when in Logan, de..." he wasn't  sure how Hank had explained it, exactly, furry blue beast had always been long winded.  "Part of it's... disapatin'."  He blinked, shrugged, and held it out for Alex.

Alex looked at the vial, natural suspicion coming to the fore.  He had too much experience with the Consortium and their mysterious syringes of fluids to be completely trusting.  But he'd have to be.  Alex held out his arm, making a fist so his veins popped out.  "I can't do this myself one handed," he admitted.  "Would you?"

His mind flicked back to what Remy said earlier.  "You didn't think I'd still be here," he repeated.  It appeared that all wasn't forgiven and forgotten after all.  Not that he could blame his lover.

Filling the syringe up he tapped the bubbles out and then gave Alex  an 'is there an echo' look before he grabbed his elbo and expertly  slid the needle into a vein.  "Non, I didn'."

Pressing Logan's blood into Alex' arm he trashed the needle after  removing it, dabbing at the entry point with a kleenex.  Though it  wasn't really necassary, removing the kleenex he saw the mark was  already gone.  "Check y'r ribs," his words caught as he looked up and  saw Alex' split lip sealing itself.  He'd seen Logan heal a million  times but watching Alex Krycek's swollen lip return to normal was  sending blood where he did not want it now.

Krycek felt a slight itching sensation on his right side, on various places on his face.  Even the stump of his arm felt different.  He inhaled deeply, and realized that he could inhale deeply.  The pain was gone.  Or at least the physical pain was gone.

He looked at his lover, not certain what to do next.  It was all too clear to him that Remy didn't trust him anymore.  And Alex wasn't certain that he'd have the chance to regain that trust.  "So now what?" he asked.

Remy stared at Alex.  He didn't know the answer.  He was torn between  wanting to walk away and wanting to embrace the man before him again,  press his lips to the one's he knew so well and had grown to fear.

Yet he couldn't look away as he had done before; feelings and  sensations from the past making his hand come up, trace the lower lip  and up to the lower ear lobe. 

So what if he left.  So what if he left again, Remy knew he would...  and Remy wasn't against having what little heart he had left  squashed.  For just one for more night together...

His fingers fluttered, a pained look coming across his face as he  swiped his hand away.

Alex couldn't help but glare at Remy.  "I deserved that," he said, but not sounding repentant.  "But I also deserve a chance to explain myself."  Now that the pain was gone, he could think much more clearly.

"All my adult life, I have not had the luxury of trusting anyone.  Of allowing myself to love anyone.  And when the first chance came with you, I took it.  And the first time it was threatened, I panicked and reverted to my old ways, the self-protecting ones that hurt you.  I was a coward and selfish, trying to tell myself I was making a noble sacrifice for your safety."

"You're angry at me and haven't forgiven me.  Good, cause I haven't forgiven myself.  I'm hoping that we both will eventually.  But if not--" Alex pointed at the door.  "Use it now and spare us both the extra grief."

Remy stood still, absorbing the words and sorting through the  emotions that came with them.  His initial reaction had been to lash  out, he didn't need to be protected. 

Narrowing his eyes: "So why'd y' come back?  If I wake up in de  mornin' how I know y' still be here?  Or y' jus' want a nooner?"

"I came back because of the same reason I left.  I love you, damn it."  The words were out before he could recall them.  Now that he had admitted it out loud, he knew that Remy could use it against him easily.  "And you can't know.  Anymore than I can no you won't take off on me."

Remy twitched at the confession.  And truth.  He couldn't know he'd  never need to run away, and if any one knew how much he had a habit  of running away... well.

Still, his eyes remained narrowed as he stepped closer.  Swiftly the  back of his hand slapped across Alex' face, even faster replaced by  his mouth pressing against his lover's.  Arms embraced and one leg  hooked around the back of Alex' calf.

He could taste blood, his blood, in the kiss.  Remy was by no means being gently, and Alex wouldn't have it any other way.  The pain was good.  The pain reminded him that he was alive, that if Remy was angry enough to hit him, that he cared. 

Alex's own arm snaked around Remy's waist, fingers digging into the side of his flesh.  And this time he had no intention of letting go.

As Alex responded Remy tightened his embrace, flattening their  stomachs to one another as his hands slid up the back of Alex' shirt,  untucking it as his hands pressed to warm flesh.  He rubbed their  hips nonetogently as his calf shimmied up and down Alex' thigh.  His  raging erection trapped between them drew forth a muffled groan.  He  had to let go if they were going to get anywhere.

With a growl he swung his leg away and reached between their bodies  to swiftly unzip and unbutton his jeans.  Breaking the kiss he  latched onto his lover's lower lip, biting it just enough to maintain  a dominate hold.  Lowering his lashes as he stared into Alex' greens  he teasingly brushed his hand across his lover's bulge, then firmly  cupped and kneaded it. 

Krycek moaned and thrust into his lover's hand, unable to hold back his reactions.  He had missed this, the friction and the heat and the sweat.  There hadn't been anyone since he had left Remy.

His own hand went to Remy's groin, working at the fly.  It wasn't easy to do, but he did manage to unbutton and unzip it and reach inside to stroke his length, to give back some of the pleasure he was getting.

Gasping, Remy grabbed his lover's wrist to still it's motions.  His  anger and emotions still not in check.  "How much y' love me, Alex?"   He nearly hissed the words, eyes flashing with moist unshed tears.   He had learned to be suspscious of love a long time ago with Rogue,  how often she had left him just like Alex had.  His lip twitched as  he continued to knead the warm bulge in his hand.  "Does it hurt when  y' love?" he breathed, eye searching.

"Yesss..." Alex hissed through clenched teeth.  He had shut himself off from his emotions for so long because of that very reason.  In his line of work, that vulnerability was a liability.  Love would be a distraction from duty, and there was enough pain in his life without having to worry about the ones he cared for - both being hurt by others and hurt by him.  "Yes, I do..."

"Den y'r more human dan any I met 'fore," Remy whispered, planting  butterfly kisses along his lover's jaw.  Guiding him to the bed Remy  gently pushed him onto the sheets, straddling his hips as he  continued to knead and kiss the only man who's love had driven him to  the farthest reaches of emotional hell and back. 

Alex didn't stop to question Remy's statement.  Nothing mattered to him at the moment than the feel of his lover beneath his lips and against his body.  His hand came up to catch the front of Remy's shirt and held on tight, as if afraid he would disappear.

Remy whimpered against his lover's neck, sucking and biting at the  flesh.  His hand below reluctantly stopped kneading and crept up to  the button and fly, expertly undoing both.  Quickly he rid Alex of  the hindering jeans and boxers, though not pulling away enough to  break the hold Alex had on his shirt.

Folding his fingers over his lover's fist he gently pried it away  from his shirt and held it to his mouth, licking the knuckles as he  shimmied out of his own jeans.

Alex closed his eyes as a shiver ran through his body.  His hand shifted to cup the side of Remy's cheek, resting his thumb against those plush lips.  Stroking over them, he desperately wished he had both his arms so he could pull his lover close.

Remy watched his lover's face, measuring his reaction as he drew his  thumb in, sucking at on the tip and scraping his teeth against the  nail.  Spreading Alex' legs he produced a lubricant bottle and spread  the cool gel along his member and between Alex' ass cheeks.

Teasing his puckered hole with his middle finger he leaned over, lips  crashing against his lover's as he pushed in with two fingers,  spreading him.

Alex hissed - at first due to the coldness of the lubricant, and then from being abruptly penetrated.  But he concentrated on kissing Remy, welcoming the discomfort.  Groaning, he shoved upwards, trying to get his lover deeper.   He concentrated on relaxing his spincther, trying to pull him inside.

Remy smiled as he kissed this man, remembering how rough he liked  it.  Rough limited the positions they could use effectively, but in  Remy's mind, made the act itself closer to heaven.  He began pulling  at Alex, moving them both down until he was standing and Alex' legs  were hung over the side.

He gently wriggled his fingers, spreading the gel as he jammed his  tongue into Alex' mouth in a fucking motion. 

Alex let out a cross between a keening whine and an angry moan.  He wanted this, wanted Remy inside of him, and to hell with the preparations.  He wrapped his legs around his lover's waist, encouraging him closer and closer.  His hand clutched at his lover's back, scratching him lightly with his nails, trying to encourage him even more

Biting his lover's lip Remy tasted blood as he obeyed.  Removing his  fingers and guiding his thick inside the tight warmth of Alex  Krycek.  The sensation ripped a gasping moan from his wet lips,  releasing Alex' lip and staring at him as he was pulled  inside.  "Mine," he panted, feeling his lover's heart pounding  against his own.

Alex nodded almost frantically.  He wrapped his legs tighter around Remy's waist, his hand clutched tighter at Remy's flesh.   "Yours," he rasped out in a smoky voice.  Breathing heavily he tried to relax, to accept what Remy was giving him.  He arched his lower back, trying to get even closer to his lover.  "Yours," he moaned again.

Hissing as Alex took more of him in, Remy had forgotten how good his  lover felt.  How desperate he got.  With his chest still pressed  firmly against his Alex he reached and gripped Alex' hips.  Holding  him in place he thrust in with one shove, driving himself to the  hilt.  A torn cry emitted from his clenched teeth.

"Mine," he moaned, gripping Alex' shoulders and digging his knees  into the side of the mattress for purchase.  He withdrew, his grip on  his lover's shoulders tightened, then he started a a steady pace.   Slow withdraw out and a fast thrusting in with each movement, making  sure his abdomen trapped and rubbed his lover's cock between their  bodies.

 He hadn't thought that he'd be feeling this again.  The rub and burn of his cock inside of him that drove him wild.  Alex clenched him at each withdrawal, trying to hold him inside even longer.

Arching upwards as much as he could to ease that sweetly painful entrance as he could, which also rubbed his painfully hard cock against his lover's belly.  "Yours," he groaned, head thrown back in submission.

Gasping with each thrust Remy kissed and bit at his lover's exposed  neck.  Already becoming damp, his hair hung in soft, limp, auburn  strands to carress the body below him.  Pressed between them he felt  each throbbing beat of his lover's cock, the precum that added to  their shared sweat and aided the friction of their pressing bodies.

"Ahhlex," Remy let the name roll from his tongue and slack jaw, his  climax forming a tight knot and threatening to release.  He clung all  the tighter to his Alex, moaning and trying to hold back as his pace  quickened.

His body was was as taut and curved as a bow.  Alex's teeth clenched as he tired to hold back, tried to keep the pleasure form overwhelming him.  But it was a losing battle he was fighting.  Especially when the head of Remy's cock rubbed against his prostate repeatedly.

Eyes shut tightly, Alex let out a loud yell as he shoved up against his lover one last time.  The throbbing in his cock became an eruption as he shook beneath Remy.

The taught muscles beneath him, quivering for release and then a  sudden eruption.  Remy touched on heaven as the warmth spread along  his stomach, as the look on his lover's face became engrained into  his mind.  With a final thrust and a loud moan Remy emptied himself  into the tight walls that squeezed him. 

Laying atop his lover Remy gasped for breath as his muscles slowly  turned to shivering jelly.  "Mine, mine, mine," he breathed out with  three drawn out gasps for air.

"Yours," Alex agreed, laying limply beneath him.  He had no inclination to move, and wasn't certain he could if he had to.  His breathing stayed slow and regular and his eyes shut in bliss.

He did find himself capable of one movement though.  Alex leaned forward and pressed his lips to Remy's forehead.  "Yours," he whispered again.

Remy whimpered a sigh at the word, eye lids growing heavy as he  listened to the beating in the chest below his ear.  None too  gracefully he pulled his legs onto the bed and sprawled half on and  off of his lover.

With another, more contented, sigh he let his eyes drift closed to  the aroma of his Alex and the sounds of the steady heart beat. 

Alex leaned back against the mattress, fingers lightly playing over his lover's shoulders.  He let out a contented sigh at Remy's weight on his chest, and then shivered lightly as the sweat cooled their bodies.

But his mind wasn't quite willing to be as lazy as his body.  "So now what Remy?" he asked.  "Back to the Institute?" 

Lazily Remy stretched possessively over Alex.  "Remy goin' where his  Alex' goin'."  His voice was that of a very sleepy boy.  "Doubt we  welcome dere fo a while any how."

Turning his head to nuzzle his lover's jaw.  "Why don' we jus' keep  movin' fo now?"

He was completely relaxed beneath his lover.  So it was still life on the run for him, but no longer alone.  He pressed a kiss to Remy's cheek.  "Long as we're together, that's fine with me."


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